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December 29, 2009

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Sheena

Dear Sabrina,

謝謝妳中肯的建議。

婚禮我們還是得去,我男友堅持的,(雖然我心裡還是會OS是不是因為這件事不是發生在他身上,他無法感同身受?不過因為他平常是一個很明理的人,不自私,所以我也不會因為這樣而跟他鬧脾氣)因為他覺得已經答應人家了(it's RSVP)就得去。那當然之後不要再跟她來往的話,就是我自己的決定了(也是我自己答應要出席的,但那是在還沒真正認識她之前)。

不過真的很高興認識妳,一個明理的、很讓人信賴的大姊姊。

大姊如果有興趣來澳洲攝影(這邊的自然風景堪稱一絕)務必要知會小妹一聲,最近男友剛購進第一台專業相機Canon 7D,他主要也是想可以跟我一起照相。因為每次去哪裡照相都是我自己玩得很高興,他在一旁陪著。
如果哪天大姊有空來澳洲體會澳洲風光的話,我們到時就可以一起安排好的旅遊景點照個盡興。不過澳洲真的很大就是了。

小妹不材,雖說喜歡攝影,卻也玩得非常不專業。頂多只是拿著相機照著自己喜歡的角度拍拍。
我的EMAIL就是我的FACEBOOK帳號,大姊有空的話就請到我的FACEBOOK逛逛。小妹有機會多拍點照片一定會上傳分享。

祝你有個好的2010年,在尋找畫展場所的事也能進行順利。

加油加油

sabrina

Sheena,

“做人處世”這檔事, 學校沒教, 所以全靠父母的家教, 再來就是靠自己的察言觀色, 將心比心, 設身處地來做考量. 對於你的處境, 不同個性的人會有不同的做法, 其實沒有對錯好壞, 全看個人對此段友誼的期待和對結果的接受度.

這次的派對, 我認為剛好給你一個機會真正認識這個你以為是朋友的人. 一般交情的人都會起身幫忙, 而不會有冷眼旁觀, 等著看笑話的舉止, 但是這位你認為是朋友的人反而這樣對你, 不禁讓我納悶, 她是甚麼心態? 難不成, 她對待她自己的朋友都是用這種態度嗎?

基本上就看你想不想知道原因, 來決定你後續動作該做什麼.

如果是我, 如果我已經認定這種朋友不值得繼續交往, 而且我也不需要知道原因的時候, 我會從此不再和她連絡, 當然她的婚禮我是不會去, 紅包更別提了, 這不是小不小家子氣的問題, 這是個人原則. 如果我已經不要你這個朋友, 我才不在乎你怎麼看我, 你要認為我小家子氣就去這麼想吧, 我才不要花紅包錢還受悶氣.

如果你想知道原因, 最好在她婚禮前找個機會單獨當面問清楚, 當作你給她一個解釋的機會, 如果你認為你可以做到盡釋前嫌的地步, 你才問原因; 如果你認為你心裡永遠會有疙瘩, 那就跳過這步, 直接做上面我會做的步驟, 因為不用浪費時間和精力.

要知道, 維持一段友誼, 需要二方面都願意付出時間和心血, 沒什麼是理所當然的. 朋友不用多, 幾個知心的就好, 要交能夠雪中送炭的朋友, 那種錦上添花的就避而遠之吧. 相信我, 如果你身邊都是雪中送炭型, 願意給你讚美鼓勵, 適時的也願意對你苦口婆心, 那才是真朋友, 就算只有少數幾位, 也遠遠勝過一大票只會吃喝玩樂, 落井下石, 見不得你好的人, 那種負面磁場還是不要有的好.

Sheena

Dear Sabrina,

Thanks for the reply, it's like a reward of me coming back to visit.

I'm having a not very good situation here, and would like to seek some wise advise from you. Just by reading your article, I felt you are a person that I know I might be able to seek good advices from.

I arranged a party mainly for friends gathering. Even though I don't do this often, but I did start practice and menus a month ahead. On the night I was really out of my plan and some of my guests helped me out. But someone I treated as friend, just standing there laughing my in-experience, while others were helping. I treated her as a friend and is going to her wedding on 3rd Jan, but I don't think I want to go now... It's kind of obvious that she invited me for getting "紅包" (she and her-husband-to-be invited quiet a few people who weren't any close to them, and asking for "紅包" in their invitation). 如果我不去的話,真的很小家子氣。可是我想讓她知道"we are no longer friends, or perhaps we never been".
大姐看法如何呢?

sabrina

Hi Sheena,

Thanks for the message. I have never been to Australia but heard a lot about it from friends. I hope I would be able to visit someday.

Life is hard and I don't want to make it harder than need to be. I find positive attitudes helped when time is tough.

Really appreciate you took the time to write me and hope to "see" you more often, share your thoughts and experiences with me.

Happy New Year to you too.

sabrina

Sheena

Hi,

My name is Sheena, also from Taiwan, but been in Brizzy (Brisbane, Australia) for more than 10 years. I do called myself Aussie too.

I like your new year resolutions!

Really appreciate your attitudes towards life and your positive point of views.

Good luck and keep it up!
Happy New Year, all the best for 2010!! ^ ^b

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My Motto

  • A goal without a plan is just a dream.

    All that we are is a result of what we have thought! Sooner or later, those who win are those who think they can!

    Success is not a matter of chance; it's a matter of choice!

    Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody is going to know whether you did it or not!

    Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the Really Great make you feel that you, too, can become Great!

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